Building resilience when your child has a mental illness

When your child is diagnosed with a mental illness, you might feel weighed down with stress and even guilt or grief. Once the dust has settled, it's time to find a new normal. Research shows that how you cope with a diagnosis makes a difference in your family's future. And families who work on positive coping methods fare better.

You can build up your ability to rebound. Here are some places to start:

Let go of guilt about negative feelings. Anger, resentment, grief. It's normal to feel all these things and more after your child's diagnosis and while you navigate the waters as a caregiver. Try to acknowledge your feelings without judging yourself. It'll be easier to let them go if you don't attach guilt to them.

Build optimism. If you're bogged down by negative thoughts about your child's future, you can start to retrain your brain with positive thoughts. Try writing down one thing you're grateful for each day. Cultivating gratitude and optimism has been linked to more resilience in families, and it can make a real difference in how you and your family feel.

Set boundaries as a family. Set limits and discipline with your child's illness in mind, knowing that things may need to change over time. Talking openly and regularly about boundaries can reduce stress. Sit down as a family and talk about how you'll respond in a stressful event.

Build in noncaregiver time. Setting aside time for yourself is crucial. Going for a solo walk or having coffee with a friend can be time to recharge. Try setting aside time for yourself every week to give you a break from being in charge. You'll have more energy for your family in the long run.

Seek out support. Many parents of children with mental illness feel unsure about opening up to those around them. But talking through your experiences with supportive people is important. Consider finding a local support group for parents of children with mental illness or talking with a trusted friend.

Remember, there isn't one right way to be a parent of a child with a mental illness. Finding the best ways for your family to feel good will take time, patience and optimism.