Do you often pick up on your child's feelings and then start a conversation? When your child is in pain, are you quick to feel it with them?
Good news: You're setting your child up for success by tuning in. Psychologists agree that kids of empathetic parents tend to be better at dealing with their feelings and social connections, and they're healthier all-around.
But being empathetic can also affect your mental health. On one hand, parents who show more empathy often have better mental health. Giving emotional support can feed your sense of purpose and meaning.
On the other hand, empathetic parents may also be more vulnerable to chronic stress and the health problems that can go along with it. How can both be true?
Research shows that empathy comes in many forms. Parents who have strong negative reactions to their child's emotions may have more trouble responding to everyday parenting challenges. This can lead to chronic stress.
But those who take on their child's perspective (another form of empathy), without an intense emotional reaction, tend to respond better to crises and have less stress.
Don't let stress burn you out. Think about these strategies for making your empathy work for you:
Honor your own feelings. You might be more prone to stress because you're always putting other people's feelings first. So make it a priority to let it out to a friend, in a diary or to a counselor on a regular basis.
Respond rather than react. Taking a step back from an emotionally challenging situation and giving yourself time to think about how to respond can lead to better outcomes than reacting in the moment.
Breathe deep. Sometimes you need a little help letting go of other people's emotions. When you're stressed by your child's distress, try breathing in for six seconds, breathing out, and paying attention to your body as you do. Over time this technique can help keep you calm and centered, even during stressful situations.
Know your limits. Remember that you can't control the thoughts, feelings and actions of others. Focus on what you can do and try to let go of the rest.
Commit to your health. Taking a walk, eating a healthy meal and prioritizing sleep are daily choices you can make to keep yourself physically healthy and less stressed.