Recognize domestic violence

Domestic violence — also called intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control his or her partner.

It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:

• Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school or seeing family members or friends
• Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear
• Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
• Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
• Tries to control whether you can see a health care provider
• Threatens you with violence or a weapon
• Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
• Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
• Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
• Threatens to tell friends, family, colleagues or community members your sexual orientation or gender identity

If you're lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you might also be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:

• Tells you that authorities won't help a lesbian, bisexual or transgender person
• Tells you that leaving the relationship means you're admitting that lesbian, bisexual or transgender relationships are deviant
• Says women can't be violent
• Justifies abuse by telling you that you're not "really" lesbian, bisexual or transgender